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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28178094">Without You, I'd Be Bleu</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/aheadfulloffollies/pseuds/aheadfulloffollies'>aheadfulloffollies</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Lunar Chronicles - Marissa Meyer</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, bc that's what this is full of, cheese puns, cinder the cheese god, coffee shop AU, there should be an archive warning for bad puns, tribute to cinder the cheese god, very bad cheese puns</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 20:33:32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,388</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28178094</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/aheadfulloffollies/pseuds/aheadfulloffollies</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Literally just a front for me to make bad cheese puns. Technically a sequel to my fic Continental Cheese but can be read on its own. Previously posted in my TLC Oneshots Book.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kai/Linh Cinder</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Without You, I'd Be Bleu</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p></p><div class="">
  <p></p>
  <div class="">
    <p>"Remember when you didn't care about me," Kai reminisced over the good old days, smiling at Cinder. It was her work break from her stepmother's café, Continental Coffee (or as Cinder preferred to call it, Continental Cheese, due to her secret and possibly illegal side-business that involved mechanics and a secret cheese menu). The two were sitting in a pastry shop a short walk away, Cinder having insisted that she didn't need nutrition, only chocolate.</p>
  </div>
  <div class="">
    <p>Kai was beginning to regret having given in.</p>
  </div>
  <div class="">
    <p>"Who's to say I do now," Cinder said, shoving another pastry in her mouth. Sometimes he wondered if she even liked him, or just his excessive knowledge of the best patisseries in New Beijing.</p>
  </div>
  <div class="">
    <p>To be fair, if it were the latter, he couldn't blame her. They were exceptional.</p>
  </div>
</div><div class="">
  <p>"Me, I'd hope," he teased.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>"Okay," she said around a mouthful of croissant. "I'll take that into consideration. I think the only opinion that really matters is mine, though."</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Kai shrugged and, eyeing the bag of cheez-its sticking out of her bag, ("Emergency snacks!" she always said. Kai just blamed it on her obsession with cheese.) smiled slowly. "If I make cheesy puns will I win you over eventually?"</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>"Sorry?"</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>"Well, I don't know anything that gouda," he said, casually picking up a piece of the pain au lait they'd ordered. "But with your parmesan I could at least try." He winked, grinning at Cinder's dumbfounded expression. She had never seen this side of her boyfriend before, which might have been a good thing. Torin liked to tell him that his puns rivaled Thorne's, even.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Taking Cinder's silence as a <em>yes</em>, Kai continued. "I really didn't think you'd stazaar long, you know. I was so annoying, it must have been like being in the devil's gluch."</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>At this point Cinder had finally leaned away from the pastries and was watching Kai with a number of emotions, only some of which he could discern. Confusion, certainly. Amusement. Perhaps a little bit of endearment.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>"I'm not usually that inept," he said with a sigh. "It's just that I was so infatuated with you, the thought of being without... I camembert it. Cheesy puns are the only solution."</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>"There are<em> plenty</em> of other solutions," Cinder groaned.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>"There aren't!" he protested. "You just make me melt! I can't resist, and it's the best I can do. Seriously, I can't do cheddar."</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>"Why are you like this," she muttered, slouching down in her chair as if the other people at the nearly abandoned café could hear him.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>"If you wanted a normal boyfriend, you should have known I'm nacho man."</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>"Well, obviously. You're an emperor. Not to mention just your personality. Like, in general."</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Kai feigned an offended look. "You'd feta take that back. I could have you thrown in prison, you know, so you gouda brie kidding."</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Cinder frowned. "Okay, now you're not even being creative. I bet half of these puns are going to involve gouda or brie, they're such easy cheeses."</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>"I'm not that creative, I don't know anything that gouda! And if you're such an expert, why don't you try."</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>"No, thank you," she said wryly. "You're doing great, honey."</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>"You mean, I'm doing <em>grate</em>?" he asked, wiggling his eyebrows incessantly.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Rolling her eyes, Cinder facepalmed quietly. "I take it back. You know, some day I'm going to be telling our kids about this-"</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>"Aw, we're going to get married?" Kai asked, his heart soaring in his chest. He knew they were serious (despite Cinder acting as if she hated him in times like these), but still. It was sweet. "To havarti and to hold? You mean it?"</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Cinder groaned again, but judging from the way she couldn't look him in the eye, Kai suspected that if she were able she would definitely be blushing. "Whatever. I'll be telling <em>someone</em> about this, probably once this relationship is <em>over</em> because you keep doing things like this-"</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>"Forever provolone," Kai sighed.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>"-and I'll sound positively ridiculous when I tell them that you did things like make <em>cheese</em> puns."</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>"It's all because I'm fondue you! If you were looking less sharp today maybe I'd be able to restrain myself, but alas."</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Cinder stared at him, her face completely straight.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>"Come on, I thought that one was pretty good! Are you laughtose intolerant or something?" he asked, grinning. He wasn't <em>that </em>bad about this, right?</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>"I only laugh at funny things," she replied.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Okay, ouch.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>"How dairy."</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>She rolled her eyes, cracking the tiniest of smiles.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>"Ha!" He leapt to his feet, forgetting there were other people in the shop, and pointed at her triumphantly. "So those are the types of puns you're looking for! Or is it brie you're looking for," he mused, sitting down again as the confused cashier slowly continued wiping down a counter, eyeing them and clearly wondering if it was within his station to remove the Emperor of the Eastern Commonwealth from his café.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>"Please no," Cinder muttered, eating the last of their Normandy apple tart.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>"You'd feta watch out, because all my puns are in the same vein as that one."</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>"I know," she said, getting to her feet and checking her watch. "I've sat through seven minutes of them. On that note, I have to get back to work."</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>"Ah," Kai said, nodding as he quickly stood. "I'll come with you. Otherwise I'd be so provolonely."</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>"That one again?" she asked.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>"Have I already done it?" He frowned, wracking his brain for more cheese-related puns. It was all fun and games until he had to make Cinder laugh, a harder quest than one might think. Unfortunately, Kai was not the most well-versed in cheeses.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>"Yes. Well, essentially."</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>"Darn. Well," he said, following her out the door, "it's sardo believe none of these have made you laugh yet."</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>"Oh, is<em> that</em> your goal."</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>"Of course! What else would it brie?"</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Groaning, Cinder muttered something about every sentence being a pun under her breath and Kai quietly beamed. "Well, I think the original one was reminding me that I actually do care about you now, which you're doing a horrible job of doing."</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>"Oh. Right."</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>"Ha! A sentence that wasn't a pun!" Cinder pointed at him, now beaming, and Kai deflated slightly.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>"<em>That's</em> what it took to make you smile? A sentence without a pun?" He was devastated.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>"Definitely."</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>"There must be something I can do! What if... I became Paris Stilton?"</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>"Who?"</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>"I don't know," he said with a sigh. "Brieoncé?"</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>"I literally have no idea what you're talking about, Kai." Cinder shook her head, the slight twinkle in her eye letting him subtly know that she was still teasing.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Thankfully. It would be pathetic if she dumped him over cheese puns. He would greve it forever.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>"Urda person who has to listen to all of this, so I can't blame you for not liking it," he admitted. But it is rather fun to say. You should try."</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>"Definitely not," Cinder said. "I'll just subject myself to the torture of listening to you."</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>"Aha! So you do like me! You'd never subject yourself to torture if it wasn't from someone you loved."</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>"Bold of you to assume that I don't subject myself to the torture of being around people I don't like all the time. You know, like myself."</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Blinking away his confusion, Kai decided that that was definitely sarcasm.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>"I hope your sarcasm isn't rubing off on me," he muttered. "I'd rather stick with the cheese puns. They're at least mildly funny."</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>"Rude."</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>"It was supposed to be a joke!" he protested. "Mild? Like mild cheese?"</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Rolling her eyes, Cinder laughed softly. "I got the joke, Kai. It was <em>sarcasm</em>."</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>"Oh."</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>She laughed again and smiled softly as they reached Continental Coffee. "Thank you for the cheese puns, Kai. They weren't as bad as I pretended."</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>"I'm glad," he said, genuinely relieved. "Because to be honest, they seemed pretty bad to me."</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Chuckling, Cinder drew him into a kiss. "It's okay. You were a bit creole, but you've convinced me. I'm surke I love my grate boyfriend."</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>They separated and Cinder headed into the shop, leaving Kai dumbfounded in front of the door. "Wa- was that a cheese pun?"</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>"It was three, actually," she said, smirking. "The things I do to mac you happy."</p>
</div>
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